Day 34: Mile 369 to 383.9

Leaving for trail has always felt pretty stressful the day of, and today was no exception. I woke up early, partly on accident, but also because I just snapped awake feeling like I had so much to do.

I wrote up blog posts, packed my bag, and went to sit at the coffee shop. I needed more caffeine after not really sleeping enough. Clare met me there. Sometimes I think it would be nice to spend time together outside of hiking, just like two regular friends doing normal things like getting coffee. In some ways, it’s really tough that the trail can be so all-consuming, particularly for me. It feels like the zeros just fly by and we’re back on trail.

I rushed to pick up last minute blister care stuff and to drop off postcards. A trail angel gave us a ride to Inspiration Point, and Rory got to achieve his American dream of riding in the back of a pickup truck.

I felt slightly better when I got on trail. After all, all you have to do out here is hike. The trail was beautiful, and really well-maintained. Truthfully, though, my head wasn’t really in the game, still thinking about the things I didn’t get to do in town and strategizing how I would accomplish them with little service. I admit that I was “texting and driving,” aka hiking very slowly with my phone in front of me trying to get a few last minute tasks done. There’s just not enough time in town! I felt bad about not being present.

I reached Vincent Gap, the start of the Baden-Powell ascent, in better spirits. I chatted with Clare a bit and that took me out of task-mode. I was cheerful to see other hikers gearing up to climb the mountain.

The climb was about 2,650 feet over four miles, with a grade of over 600 feet per mile, nearly triple the typical steepness of the PCT. I started up and went extremely slowly. It was getting a little hot, but there were tall trees scattered around casting shade on the trail intermittently. There were lots of day hikers too, many of whom wished me luck on my journey as they stepped to the side to let me pass.

It was very slowly going, but I loved to see the views opening up and becoming even better as I ascended. I actually really enjoy “peak bagging” types of hikes, because I love to get up high and see an incredible view. I don’t mind pushing myself really hard for that.

Sandra, Clare, and I were together for the summit push. It was really tough but I was glad that we were together, struggling, but also hyping each other up.

Cresting the summit, I had one of those surreal moments where I couldn’t believe I was on the PCT, climbing a mountain, and overlooking LA.

We made it to the top!! I checked out the views, congratulated my friends, and took lots of pictures.

I was exhausted, and we took a short break. Sadly, we couldn’t hang out on the summit for long, since there were still about five miles until camp and it was already around 3pm. Managing time is one of the biggest challenges for me on the PCT, and it’s hard to strike the balance between rushing through things or lingering too long.

The rest of the hike was beautiful, but I felt pretty exhausted that I just pushed through the relentless up an and downs.

After getting frustrated with some pretty nasty blowdowns and stopping at Little Jimmy Spring for some water, I finally made it to camp, just after sunset. It isn’t great to roll up to camp late, set up the tent, and rush to eat. I told myself I’d get to camp earlier the rest of the week. I really had to grind to make today happen, and I wish that things had been more relaxed.

It’s a cold night at Little Jimmy Campground, and I’m already feeling sore from all of the climbing.

Day 35: Mile 383.9 – 406.6

I didn’t sleep enough. I just had too many dreams of being stressed about hiking more miles. This is what happens when I don’t have enough time to wind down before bed— I’m still hiking in my dreams!!

I rushed to get out of camp, since the others planned to hike 20 miles today to an equestrian campground, and I wanted to give myself enough time to get the miles in. I feel so slow to get ready, slow while hiking, just so slow and behind a lot of the time, and it gets to me sometimes. Morale felt low hiking out of camp, even as I watched the sunrise over the mountains.

Stumbling over blowdowns and feeling the lack of sleep, I saw the fastest member of the group, Mike, come around the corner. For some reason, this made my eyes well up. When he asked me how I was, I started crying. I told him about my frustrations with being slow, getting to camp late, and feeling behind. He was so incredibly kind to me, gave me a hug, and hiked with me for a while. It really cheered me up to have him reassure me that I’m doing a good job even when I don’t feel like it. It feels embarrassing to cry on trail, but also good to talk about the issues I’ve been having with someone else.

I cheered up a bit, and started the big climb of the day. It was slow going, with the soreness from yesterday, but I was trying to take in the scenery more. Clouds were rolling in, making the mountains below look like islands floating above them. Everyone else seemed a bit tired and sore too, but we took pictures, small breaks, and kept spirits high.

A major part of our hike today would be a road walk on Highway 2. There was a trail closure to protect an endangered species of frog. The highway was closed, thankfully, which meant for peaceful, car-free walking. It was actually kind of nice to just have easy walking, listening to music and enjoying the cloudy atmosphere that reminded me of the Pacific Northwest.

I’m working my way through Adrienne Lenker’s discography this week, since surprisingly I haven’t listened to all of her albums. I really enjoyed “abysskiss,” particularly the song “womb.” I love the lyric, “My heart will always find you when your heart freely sings.” It makes me think of how lucky I am to have a partner that supports my happiness unconditionally by championing me doing this trail.

I met up with the group to have lunch, and we just ate on the road next to a creek. Keith and Mike were playing their mini-guitars, I was cooking up ramen, and the vibes were good.

Mike was laying on the road smoking a cigarette, which looked incredibly badass.

Then, out of nowhere, we heard a car speeding around the corner. Everyone was screaming, “STOP!!” and he scurried to the side. It was someone doing construction on the road! It was such a scare, since there weren’t supposed to be any cars allowed on the highway. We laughed about how all of us apparently have a death wish by hanging out in the middle of this road.

We continued road-walking (more carefully) and eventually hiking. I was so tired, though, as were the others, which made me feel a bit better about my own situation. Even though I was only halfway through the miles of the day, I wanted to be done. I had a pretty bad blister and my toe felt like it was a little numb. I think it’s time for new shoes again, unfortunately. I think my feet grew a size overnight or something.

The wind was picking up and it looked like it might rain. I raced to camp, just ready to be done. I had to stop for water, though, and I was glad I did. The act of collecting water from the flowing stream, sitting down, and filtering for five minutes definitely made me slow down and appreciate the landscape for a while.

I made it to camp, and it was COLD! I set up my tent and threw on all my layers. Keith made a fire, and it was heavenly to sit by it, eating hot dinner after a long day. I bought powdered milk in Wrightwood, so my mac and cheese was extra creamy!!

Today was a whirlwind of emotions. It was so hard. I felt like I really had to work hard at not dilly-dallying to do 20 miles. I was so tired that I really just wanted to go to bed. I think I’m still feeling the effects of climbing Baden-Powell. I hope that tomorrow I feel more rested and have a chiller day. I’m concerned about doing multiple big days in a row, so I’m hoping to scale back as the week goes on. We’ll see what happens.

Day 36: Mile 406.6 – 427

I still had dreams about hiking and rushing to hike more miles, but I woke up today feeling much more rested. It was definitely below 40 degrees as I packed up camp and left early. I did enjoy a hot coffee and Breakfast Essentials, though!

I knew I had been lacking sleep, because hiking this morning was already so much better than the past couple of days. It was a gradual climb that gave me views of the mountains with the wind pushing clouds past them.

I made really good progress in the morning by the time I stopped at a spring to filter water. Rory and Clare caught up, and spirits were high. Everyone seemed to have gotten a good rest. Rory started doing an incredible Gollum impression that absolutely cracked me up. Things were definitely going better today, with the easy miles and the laughter.

I hiked on the ridgeline down the mountain, and I was met with spectacular views of the desert valley below. My surroundings were a combination of tall trees and sagebrush, and it was cool to see the transition to desert again as I passed to the drier side of the mountain and lost elevation throughout the day.

It got chillier as the miles progressed, and I was happy to get to stop outside a fire station for lunch, where there was water, tables, and a pit toilet. We sat in the parking lot, bundled in all our gear, making hot food. Someone discovered that there was a cooler with trail magic down the road, so the boys all sprinted to grab beers to enjoy with lunch. I just grabbed an apple on my way out, and really savored the taste of eating fresh fruit.

The last bit of the day was climbing and descending hills covered in chaparral, and the wind picked up to the point where it was quite chilly and dreary out. I was happy that Rory and I were hiking this part together— we chit-chatted, he taught me tongue-twisters, and it made the end-of-day miles speed by.

We met up with Sandra and Clare by a possible campsite, which was on a saddle between hills in that pushed into the clouds. Rory and Clare decided to push on to join the rest of the group at a site farther on trail, in hopes of it being more protected. After hiking twenty miles today, I felt good about stopping here, so Sandra and I decided to set up camp. It was windy and cold, but once I got into my tent, it was super cozy to make dinner and finally get some rest. I made it inside my sleeping bag at 7:15pm.

I’m so relieved to be having an early night, and proud that I still hiked 20 miles. I’m glad to have listened to myself and didn’t push on another three miles in the cold and rain. I don’t really know what tomorrow holds since I’m somewhat separated from the group, but I’m hoping to do fewer miles and take it slower. And I definitely know I’m happy to be in this bed!!

The last few days have been really tough but I’m holding up okay. Thank you for reading and for reaching out with comments and sweet texts. It really means a lot to me out here to know I have so many people backing me up, especially when things are hard.

I’ll post Part 2 of this week shortly! Until then!